It had been literally 2 days since I last saw London Boy. Monday morning, I was making my coffee, filling my friend M in on all the gossip, she was intrigued to know more about London Boy, and I was all to happy to tell. According to her, my face lit up when talking about him.
The texting was constant now. It was so intense the way I felt. Not the causal we'd agreed. Maybe it's at this point, I started to pull away slightly. We arranged to meet up the Tuesday night, I'd pick him up from the station and we'd go to his for dinner and a film. He cooked us the most amazing dinner. It'd been a while since someone had cooked for me! He even brought a bottle of wine! Any...we snuggled down on the sofa, and he even brought down his Duvet to keep us warm. So sweet.
As we sat and watched TV, played around, fooled around, his kisses became the little bit more intense. I hadn't kissed anyone like this since Mr X. I knew where this was heading, and so did he. I thought I'd feel awkward and nervous, but I didn't. Quite the opposite, I was relaxed and chilled. Mr X had been the own guy I'd ever done 'ANYTHING' with, and this was all about to change. He took my hand and led me upstairs.
Afterwards, we laid in bed and cuddled. This was a feeling I'd been missing for so, so long. I was quickly forgetting the fact that we we're suppose to be 'causal'
Truth is, I'd quite liked to have stayed the night, and he did offer, but work got in the way. I kissed as I left and I felt amazing. I did wonder if maybe I'd given it away too soon, in fact I was convinced I wasn't going to ever hear from him again. I was so, so, so wrong. Again, I got home and he'd already text. We arranged our 3rd date there and then. And then? Then I was stupid.
The thing that I hadn't mentioned, was the fact I had just been diagnoised with Anxiety and depression. I was going through a lot at work and I was in the frame of mind, in the fact I didn't feel good enough, for anyone or anything.
On our 3rd date, we went bowling, then went and done some shopping and then went back to his, ordered take-away, and watched a film. These dates are my kind of dates!! We had such a great time. But, for the above reasons, I started to feel myself distancing myself. Something I am forever kicking myself for.
We continued to text for a while, and then I went on holiday. Anxiety really kicked in. Things were moving too quickly, and I was falling. Hard.
Funnily enough, Mr London is one that I never really mention to people. I guess, the way I dealt with it, was to 'ghost him'. When he would ask to meet, I'd be busy, or make an excuse, and eventually, the texting died down. And honestly? I regret it majorly. If I could turn back time, I would. Trouble is, we all make mistakes. And we all hurt people. And this time, I made my mistakes, and hurt someone in the process. I could blame the anxiety, and it played a part, but I will till my dying day, regret it.
Mr London now works in the office block next to mine. He has a lovely girlfriend and is 100% happy. We texted for a short while just after Christmas, and he was there when I really needed him. We now don't talk. And me...well I'm still single.
The thing that I hadn't mentioned, was the fact I had just been diagnoised with Anxiety and depression. I was going through a lot at work and I was in the frame of mind, in the fact I didn't feel good enough, for anyone or anything.
On our 3rd date, we went bowling, then went and done some shopping and then went back to his, ordered take-away, and watched a film. These dates are my kind of dates!! We had such a great time. But, for the above reasons, I started to feel myself distancing myself. Something I am forever kicking myself for.
We continued to text for a while, and then I went on holiday. Anxiety really kicked in. Things were moving too quickly, and I was falling. Hard.
Funnily enough, Mr London is one that I never really mention to people. I guess, the way I dealt with it, was to 'ghost him'. When he would ask to meet, I'd be busy, or make an excuse, and eventually, the texting died down. And honestly? I regret it majorly. If I could turn back time, I would. Trouble is, we all make mistakes. And we all hurt people. And this time, I made my mistakes, and hurt someone in the process. I could blame the anxiety, and it played a part, but I will till my dying day, regret it.
Mr London now works in the office block next to mine. He has a lovely girlfriend and is 100% happy. We texted for a short while just after Christmas, and he was there when I really needed him. We now don't talk. And me...well I'm still single.
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