The What If Guy

In the latter part of the year last year, I met someone. Someone who, little did I know, would flip my world upside down all over again.

It was a night out, out with a few friends, and there friends. And there he was. I had met him once before. And I didn't really think much of it, after all, at the time I was still with Mr X. According to family and friends, the party in which we met, we exchanged a few flirty comments. I can 10 0% say I didn't notice. 

Anyway, as the night out progressed, we became close. And I mean close. A kiss, turned into more. And I instantly felt a connection. One that I couldn't explain. Something I'd never felt before and, truthfully, something I haven't felt since.

The weeks that followed were a total whirlwind. Late night phone calls, texting all day, heart to hearts and I just knew something was developing. I couldn't help it. I had feelings. Damn. 

I'd had such a rubbish time with men, I'd promised myself that I wouldn't fall for a 'charmer' again. Because that's what he was/is. A lying one at that. Because guess what...this 'charmer' had a secret. He had a girlfriend. Yep. And me...well I was already head over heels. Deep down, I know I should have just walked away. And in a certain respect I did. Nothing physical ever happened again, but we did continue to phone and text and see each other out and about. Truth is, I wanted to be around him, and secretly, maybe he did around me.

One day, I was sitting in town with a friend, and I poured it all out to her. The best think about my best friends - they don't mince or hold back the truth;

"He's your what if" 

My what? She then explained. Every person has the 'what if'. It's the guy (or girl) who you will always think about 'what if we had just given it a go'. And she was right. This is exactly what he was. As times gone on, I've tried to cut as much contact with him. As far as I know, he's now split with his girlfriend and is now seeing someone else. That's fine. Because, although I might still have feelings for him, they're not as strong as they were. And they're certainly not the same type of feelings. 

What If's can be the hardest type of guys (or girls) to get over. The fact that there was never really anything 'there' in the first place, makes it all that harder to process. How do you get over something that was never 'really there'. It's like trying to grieve for something, but it's never that simple. I still see him now and again, and each time, the feelings go more and more. I can't believe I got sucked into lies and deceit.

Have you ever had a what if guy? How would you suggest moving on from it?