This post, has been fueled by alot of anger and frustration. Sometimes, I think people need to be reminded that I'm a fucking human being too. I have gone back and forth on whether I should post this or not, but I feel it's something that is not spoken about enough! So here it goes....
Over the past few weeks, a lot of things have happened. Most notable, I was 'touched up' while on a night out. I wasn't that drunk, and knew that I didn't want him near me. To most, this is classed as assault, to others 'well, you did go out with a low cut dress on'. Oh, well that's ok then! Sorry, didn't realize that means it's perfectly ok for someone, who by the way, was way to forceful for my liking, to come up, try and force a kiss on me and to touch me. BUT it's not. It's not ok. I'm a person too. I have feelings, emotions and a beating heart, just like anyone else in this world.
To add to this, someone I have been talking to for a while, asked about what happened, I explained and they acted sympathetic. Right before asking for a 'sexting facetime' (something which I have never ever done before!). By this point, I just started crying. Is that how people viewed me. Just as a sexual object? Did feelings not matter to anyone? I was deeply scared, hurt and disgusted with what had happened just hours before, and here he was, trying to get 'sexual'. No, all I needed at this point in time was support. And that was not helping. When I didn't respond, he sent me a hurtful message.
My emotions at this point, are all over the place. After being well and truly mugged off just weeks earlier, I have had enough. Let's just clear a few things up.
- Because A girl wears a low cut top/short skirt, she is NOT 'parading herself/asking for it' or whatever. This is victim blaming at it's finest.
- I'm a nice person. I wouldn't ever hurt someone on purpose, is it too much to ask for the same in return?!
- Most importantly, I am NOT your sexual object. I am a fucking person.
I know this post has been a bit of a rant, but I needed to get a few things off my chest. What happened to me, was scary, even if to some seems so little and petty. I'm just thankful I was aware of what was going on around me. Other girls might not have been.
In the process of all this, I have deleted all my dating apps. I needed time to focus on myself and to process what is going on in my life. So far, so good!
