Open Letter....Letter To Mr X

Dear Mr X,

I decided to write this, (it's taken me a good 5 days to write this) because it's the only way I truly know how to express just how I feel. You always said communication wasn't a strong point of mine, and maybe you were right, but now, that's all changed. 

I don't really know where to start, maybe I'll start with how, you've destroyed me. In more ways than one, you took away my confidence in not only myself, but in people, love and relationships. If only I knew how much it was going to take for me to trust someone again (I'm still not 100% there). You have plagued all future relationships, and as much as I try to not let it affect me still, obviously, it still does. 

When you cheated, I tried to think of why you could do that to me? And you, well you just brushed it off, like it was nothing. Is that all I meant to you? 5 years, I gave you nothing but my love, faith and loyalty and you threw it all away. And for what? A quick 'shag'.

I do, however, want you to know, that there is not a day that goes by, that I don't think about you. Rightly, or wrongly, the good or bad. Deep down, I wish things had ended better than what they did, but I can't change that and neither can you. The way it ended, I still feel the need to say sorry. But then I stop, and I think, 'Why? Why am I sorry?'. It was you who sent the text, you who'd cheated multiple times, you who wanted to play games? Me? I just wanted to know there I stood, and to be able to move on. But the way you told people I had broken YOUR heart. Well,I'm sorry if you felt that way. But mine? Mine wasn't important was it? It was just shattered, that's all. No big deal. I'm sorry if you feel I hurt you. But you hurt me. You emotionally abused me, till the point I cracked. And that...that's not right. 

I really wish you knew just how much I had loved you, and would have done anything to prove it. But looking back, I did give my everything, and you didn't. My everything was never going to be enough for you, and now I see that.

The thing I really hate, is the fact I can't hate you. Try as I might, and trust me, I've tried, I just can't. Because without you doing what you've done, I wouldn't be where I am now. And where am I now? I'm a bloody strong, independent woman, and when I was with you, I just wasn't. 

I hear you have a new girlfriend now. I honestly hope she's everything you want in life. And I hope you can give her everything you couldn't give me. 

So...I guess I'll dedicate this song to you...and I truly hope you do treat her better.